An Open Letter to You: Gay Is Not Scary

Gay is not scary. Do not fear.
It may be uncomfortable, but do not be afraid.

Your neighbor is gay. He brought you your newspaper this morning. Your newspaper is not tainted.
Your child's teacher is gay. She taught your daughter how to add. You child's brain is not tainted.
Your pastor is gay. He loves the Lord, too. Your faith is not tainted.
Your student is gay. She is struggling, but your classroom is not tainted.
Your teammate is gay. He wants to win just like you. You are safe in the locker room.
Your cashier is gay. Your transaction is valid.
The person behind you at the stop light is gay. You are not in danger.

You are okay. It is okay.

Do not fear someone who is not like you.
People who are homosexual are humans. They are not criminals. They are not pedophiles or zoophiles.
Some may be, but some heterosexuals are, too.
Homosexuals have baggage, and so do you. They will be in relationships that don't work. They will make mistakes. So will you. Some heterosexuals are promiscuous, but they can still marry. Some homosexuals are as well, and some are not.

God created them. Don't put your God in a box! God still loves them, and so can you.

Do not fear someone who doesn't believe the same as you.
"Freedom of Religion" has allowed you to choose which church you attend.
Let that same freedom allow others to choose their own path, even if you think yours is best. Maybe, with the right amount of patience, love, and grace, they'll choose the same path as you.

Women can vote and work and are strong! The USA is better because of it.
Blacks and whites talk to one another, are friends, co-workers, and neighbors. We eat in the same restaurant, and the USA is better because of it. Blacks are some of the most inspiring people in our country, and we are better for it!

One day, hopefully sooner than later, gays will be able to marry and take care of one another with the protection of the law, and the USA will be better because of it. Your Christianity will not be tainted.

You can be a Christian and support the separation of church and state. It's okay.
You can be a Christian and acknowledge that others do not believe the same as you. It's okay.
You can be a Christian and acknowledge that others have a different interpretation of scripture than you. It's okay.
 I know we are called to be the Light of the World, to be a city on a hill, to spread the gospel to all nations. I know you think you are taking a stand for God, but God is not glorified in your fear or in your hate. He is glorified in your WORSHIP and in your LOVE. You are not going to convince them that Jesus taught love and grace and acceptance when you don't love, forgive, and accept them first.

This is only the beginning. The moral issue is not whether or not you think gay marriage is a sin or wrong or unnatural. That is your opinion, and you are entitled to it. But don't let your opinion keep a human being from living the life they want to live, especially if it's not hurting you. Because it's not, and it won't.

The moral issue at stake here is this: "whether all Americans are to be afforded equal rights and equal opportunities, whether we are going to treat our fellow Americans as we want to be treated." JFK said that, nearly 40 years ago. We have come a long way since then, let us keep moving forward....together, as equal and deserving humans.

It may take time for you to come around. We understand. We will be here waiting with open arms to accept you when you do.
-------------------


I am a straight white Christian female, and I am a believer in transcending love.

the sea will hold you.

Lie back, daughter, let your head be tipped back in the cup of my hand.
Gently, and I will hold you.
Spread your arms wide, lie out on the stream, and look up,
laugh at the gulls.
A dead man's float is face down.
You will dive and swim soon enough where this tidewater ebbs to the sea.
Daughter, believe that when you tire on the long thrash to the island, lie up, and survive.
As you float now, where I held you and let go,
Remember when fear cramps your heart what I told you:
Lie gently and wide to the light-year stars,
Lie back and the sea will hold you.

Phillip Booth

one year.

I can't believe it's been one year since I left the woods. In honor of the 375 days I spent in the woods, here's a little blog I found that takes me back to the days when I sent out mass texts each day documenting the hilarious quotes my kids would say. Enjoy:


ghettohikes.tumblr.com

two thousand twelve

 

In 2012, I am deciding my highest priorities, saying no to other things, and saying yes to the best. 

I am:

Saying NO to unhealthy food choices, and saying YES to a healthy me.

Saying NO to a busy schedule, and saying YES to quality time.

Saying NO to easy, and saying YES to a challenge.

Saying NO to busy work, and saying YES to my responsibilities.

Saying NO to filler friends, and saying YES to relationships.

Saying NO to expectations, and saying YES to dreams.

Saying NO to extravagance, and saying YES to simplicity.

Saying NO to fast food, and saying YES to home-cooked meals.

Saying NO to guilt, and saying YES to a proactive and positive self-image.

Saying NO to skepticism, and saying YES to spiritual growth.

Saying NO to intolerance, and saying YES to acceptance and love.

Saying NO to violence and war, and saying YES to peace.

Saying NO to exclusion, and saying YES to inclusion.

Here's to a year of prioritizing the best for me and the life I want. 

I hope you'll join me on a few of these and make some of your own.

 

The Ultimate Post

This weekend I will play in my first Ultimate tournament since leaving Texas nearly two years ago. I somehow got lucky enough to land in a spot that has regular weekly pick-up and hosts a yearly tournament in November after living in an Ultimate-deficient wilderness for a year.

As I gear up for the tourney, I can't help but think of how strong of an influence Ultimate has played in my life.

I first played the sport at First Baptist Church in Magnolia during my Junior Year thanks to Mr. Moats who started up UFL (Ultimate Frisbee League). For the next two years, that's what I would call the sport, not knowing how big of a deal it was elsewhere. That year my best friend, Lauren Sepulveda, won MVP, and I was pretty jealous. I fell in love with the sport during my Senior year when I realized I was actually pretty good at it. That year, I won MVP, and I'm pretty sure I still have my trophy.

After seeing a group of hippies playing Ultimate at Southwestern University, I turned in my application and didn't bother to look at any other schools, convinced that this had to be the only school in the world that played Ultimate. I could not even risk going to another school. I gleefully submerged myself into the weekly pick-up games on the Mall, barefoot and loving it.

One of my best friends at college, Emily Taylor, introduced me to her friend at UMHB, a nearby private school full of staunchly conservative Christians. The polar opposite to my liberal arts school hippie Ultimate with no cones or lines, I was introduced by Dustin Kunz to the world of competitive Ultimate.

I quickly became addicted to the rules of Ultimate and the idea of the "Spirit of the Game." Dustin told me about a group of guys who played in Austin who called themselves Riverside Ultimate. I somehow weaseled my way onto their listserve and eventually into some of their lives. Through Riverside, I met Iram J. Leon who is basically the Ultimate Rockstar of Texas...not even kidding. If I think I have a story to tell about how Ultimate has impacted my life, it's a children's book compared to his. Another dude named Big Bad Bygone Paul was the first to offer me a nickname, Tattoo, in honor of the Marx song, and in honor of my full acceptance into the Riverside family. He and J have followed my journey and will both probably read this blog. Many hugs to you guys.

During the summers in college, I worked at Camp Cho-Yeh, a Christian sport camp, where a group of us would get up around 6:30 in the morning to play Ultimate. I continued to fall in love with the sport and realized that people who play Ultimate are just....awesome. I couldn't get enough of it.

At some point in my Junior year of college, Ultimate became my life. I started an Ultimate team at my school with the help of Jason Reitz and began traveling to tournaments with my team. I spent a good portion of my time that year trying to convince all of my friends that they should love Ultimate as much as I did. It worked for some, but not for others. At one of our first tournaments, I met some kids from TCU, including their captain, Daniel Bess. Over the next year, I was able to play with several different teams and leagues, thanks to Daniel, and would eventually move to Dallas post-graduation because of his influence.

When I decided to accept a job and move to Dallas, I joined all the Dallas Ultimate listserves before I even looked for a place to live. I started Friendship Recruitment 2008 where I met some of the best people in Dallas and probably in the world.  I captained for a Winter League team, played both Coed and Women's Ultimate, suffered heat stroke, and traveled to Florida and Georgia, all in the name of Ultimate.

Then I got this crazy wild hair to move to North Carolina. I ended up in the woods, 3 hours from the nearest pick-up game, and lost most of my discs to the savage children I worked with in a matter of months. I traveled to Raleigh once to play a game in February and never went back.

It's been a long, lonely drought since then, and while so many other great things have happened, I am so happy to have Ultimate back in my life. It makes for a well-rounded Lydia.

A Love Affair With Bread

My Breadman and I have been going steady for 5 months now, and I'm pretty sure Breadman just told me he loves me.


Using a bread machine isn't as easy as it looks. You've got to really take the time to get to know your machine, how it operates, what you need to adjust in the recipe to make it happy, what it needs to adjust to make you happy. It's truly  like a relationship. I've been switching out butter for oil, liquid for powder, beer for water, sugar for honey, syrup for molasses, and on and on and on.

This week, after 5 long months of adapting recipe after recipe from "Bread Machine Baking: Perfect Every Time," I finally hit the jackpot.


I wanted to share our love affair with you. It's an adaptation of "Millie's Basic Whole Wheat Bread" for the Breadman.

Ingredients:
1 extra-large egg plus enough warm water to measure 1 cup liquid total
2 tbs butter (I used unsalted stick butter)
1/4 cup molasses (I used No HFCS Syrup, Log Cabin I think...)
2 tbs honey
1/2 cup cornmeal
2 cups whole wheat flour
1 cup unbleached white flour (all-purpose, not bread)
1 1/2 tbs powdered skim milk (I used liquid 2% milk)
1 1/2 tsp salt
2 tbs gluten (I did not use this, but I did add 2 tbs wheat germ)
2 1/2 tsp yeast


Place all the ingredients (liquids and salt first, yeast last) in your bread machine pan. Program for Dough, and push Start. Check the dough after the first ten minutes of kneading, and add flour or water by the tablespoon if necessary. If you follow this recipe, you shouldn't need to add a thing. After the first dough cycle is completed (1 hour and 20 minutes), you'll want to run it again. Program for Dough, and push Start. I read that two cycles is good when you use whole wheat flour, and I agree. It allows the dough more time to rise, and gives you a higher, less dense loaf.

When the second cycle is complete, remove your dough and place it on a lightly floured surface. Try to keep it in it's original ball form. Punch the dough out into a rectangle, trying to get all the air out of the dough. Then roll it like a jelly roll starting at one of the smaller sides. Make sure that wherever you end the roll is the bottom center of your loaf. Tuck the sides of your roll down, trying to make the ends meet on the bottom of your loaf. The top of your loaf should be smooth. There are lots of ways to form your loaves--this is just my favorite. Ok, ok...it's the only one I've tried. Search YouTube to see some other options.

Place your loaf into an oiled loaf pan. Cover it with a clean towel, and let it rise for an hour.
When you have about 10 minutes left, preheat your oven to 375*. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes. After 35 minutes, remove the bread from the pan and thumb the bottom of your loaf. If it sounds hollow, you're done! If not, place the loaf directly on the rack and cook it for 5-10 more minutes.

Once it's cooked, let it cool for 15 minutes. This is important because your bread is still baking! After 15 minutes, slice away! If you're going to save it, put it in a plastic bag after it has completely cooled.

When I make this again, I'll take pictures like The Pioneer Woman, and post them in this recipe, so I'm legit.

No wonder...

It's really no wonder to me why Gary and I don't have more friends in Morehead City.

This may be no big deal to your average reader, but I am KNOWN for making friends by the dozens within days of moving to a new city. Anyone remember "Friend Recruitment 2008" in Dallas? Yup. I figured I'd be fending off friends with a stick once I moved here, but that hasn't been the case.

Here are your top 10 reasons why Gary and I are basically friendless in MHC:

10. We go out to dinner at 6 pm on Friday nights once in a while, talk about what we want to do next, and head directly home to read or watch a Redbox movie.

9. I hear of a good happy hour special, make it home by 4, only to decide that a Dark Chocolate Granola Bar sounds much better than a $5 Cosmopolitan.

8. Our favorite spot on the beach is behind a neighborhood that considers it trespassing for anyone to walk down the trail that leads you to the beach. That might explain why we're the only ones on the beach all the time.

7. My co-workers are all above the age of 40.

6. The Mavs are doing good this season, and I want to find somewhere to watch the next game, only to find out it is on at 9 pm. That's really late, isn't it? Maybe we shouldn't go.

5. We think Estate Sales are the place to be on Saturday mornings.

4. We actually are awake on Saturday mornings.

3. A 19 foot boat only holds so many people, you know?


2. We go to great events like the Beaufort Music Festival (that lasts til midnight), and call it a night after one band. All of my previously mentioned co-workers were out later than that.

1. Bedtime is 10 pm. Sharp. Every night.

But really, despite the two of us being old souls who very much enjoy our sleep and solitude, it is really this that make us the loners that we are:

We have the very best friends in the whole wide world---just in other places.
And we each have our very best friend with us to make the most ordinary things an adventure. Together we are in a place where not much more than what we have or what we do leaves us wanting (except for a sailboat...).

It's a good place to be....